happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
