I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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