Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
