yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
