People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
