Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
