How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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