Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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