I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
