im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
