I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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