Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
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