It's like God shit irony all over that family
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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