what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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