I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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