just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
