We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
