Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
