Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
