he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize