you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
