I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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