So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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