I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
we should paint friendship bongs
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