I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
