I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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