That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
