I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize