Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Randomize