So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
accomplished twins. life is a go
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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