it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
She just used a chaser for red wine.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
