How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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