the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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