There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
