So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
