I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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