Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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