We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
