Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize