You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
