Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize