I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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