my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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