Nicole vs. Life
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
