She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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