Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I don't deserve a penis
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
