So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
