Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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