why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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