I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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