She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
