My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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Randomize
