you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
