your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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