Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
