so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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