Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
