Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
