We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
