So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
