dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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