and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
