good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
