I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
is wine microwaveable?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
did i walk over a car last night?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize