How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
