he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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