that's an acceptable place to lick
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
